About Me
About Meall sorts of messed up.
before I get into the events of last night... let me relive some of the events of the past month to fill in some gaps. obviously my ex broke up with me. but pretty much a few days afterwards. one of her friends confessed to her that he liked her. to me that's a slap in the face to me and to her (mostly me). it could be because if I were in his situation, I would question if she would likes me for me, or if she liked me only because of residual feelings. and me, I don't want to date anyone right now. my emotions are too raw for me to completely give my heart to someone. I want my ex to take care of maxie, since max likes her and is familiar with her. she's seen max's belly (big deal for cats, it means they trust U or comfortable around U). I don't trust my roommate, and max is terrified of her. my cat is very important to me, and I want the best for her. And my ex loves maxie almost as much as I do, so I kno she's in good hands. so... with some of the backstory out of the way...
I didn't expect to see him at her place. It took all my strength not to hit him and to not cry. I'm still very upset over the whole situation. it's totally fucked up. U kno UR ex is coming, and U have the person UR dating over? and UR ex is still hurting?!?! the more I think about it the more angry I feel. things were re arranged, and his stuff is replacing where mine used to be. I feel totally worthless at this point. why am I so easily replaced? what is it about me that people can forget about me so easily? I talked to her in the back of my car for about half an hour. A lot of things were said. I learned something about her...
through the pain, I saw the girl I guess U can say I have a crush her. she makes the pain go away. even though my insides were a total wreck, I still had a smile. had some sushi. towards the end of the night a lot of the hurt melted away. I'm grateful for any time with her.
and now... I'm feeling a lot of the hurt again I'm going to try my hardest to be happy
Mood: sometimes I feel like I'm in a place where I promised myself I wouldn't be in again over 10 years ago...
Music: neon trees - habits
cl
that was a pretty cold move. don't feel worthless over someone's inconsideration. it just proves that she did not reciprocate the feelings that you had for her. all the better reason to move on.