room for improvement

some things came out of the breakup that really hurt. the one that hurt the most had to have been that I'm antisocial, it was one more reason on the list to breakup. it's not my fault, it's who I am. because of it, I want to go out and be more social. to improve who I am so whoever I'm with would be happier with me. I came to realize something. I like meeting new people it suits my curious and inquisitive nature. I still have anxiety when I initially talk to strangers, I took "don't talk to strangers" a little too seriously as a kid and carried out through most of my life. Once I start talking and get to know them a little, I'm good. I'm trying not to get caught up in labeling myself as a computer nerd who's antisocial. it's not acceptable anymore.

tues night I went to queens. I know it's totally crazy, going to the city on a weekday to meet up at 7PM, but I wanted to see her before I go to taiwan. Mostly because I had a birthday present for her and some other reasons. she said that when I get back she'll be a year older. I made a little battery operated hand warmer, since she mentioned she gets cold easily. we had dinner and then saw jackass. I was able to catch the LAST train from penn station @ 1:22. I almost didn't make it, I woke up at the end of the 7 train and people were boarding for it to go back to queens. thank god it stays there for a little bit. I didn't get home until around 3. only because it took a gas attendant 10 min to start pumping, he was checking something. I managed to get into work the next day. a little tired and late. but still in.

I've noticed it, and others have noticed it too. I've been happier since this weekend. dispite this, there's something in the back of my head that terrifies me.

Mood: I'm happy?

11/4/2010 12:31:54 PM