About Me
About Meanother loop
birthdays for me are kind of... meh... not much to get worked up about anymore. as I'm getting older I'm trying to be self sufficient... not to depend on anyone's charity... so this year that it came up again... it bothers me that people want to take me out... or treat me special... I'm happier just staying home on my couch under a blanket w/ my 2 girls of course one won't pay any attention to me... too busy licking her fur... just watching a movie/drama/button mashing... and making something good to eat... pretty much treating it like any normal day...
what is a birthday anyway?? it's the day you were born on however many years ago... even if you do have a number associated to your age?? that isn't any big indicator of your maturity level... similar to the fight club quote "you're not your job or how much money you have in your bank" it shouldn't limit you, define who you are... so what if I just finished my 29th trip around the sun... I don't look it... I don't feel it... I don't act like it... I am who I am and I'm happy!!
the most I want from most people in my life is to be told "happy birthday" only a select few I would want to REALLY share it with... and it's pretty much a normal day to me...
since my birthday does fall close to new years I've also reflected on my life in the years past... especially since high school... there's a HUGE difference... I'm glad all that b/s is done and over with... I was miserable back then... I don't remember much of it, I think my subconscious put a mental block on it so I wouldn't think about it anymore... at the same time... I'm glad I've had all those experiences... even tho some things made me laugh... some things made me cry... they made me who I am today... and since I'm happy with how things are now... I wouldn't change a thing... when I look into the future... I don't really see much... I'm not all that adventurous... I don't do a lot... but I do see me happy... of course the unexpected curveball here and there... but overall... I'm optimistic.